If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
