is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
