He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
