Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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