So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
