How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm at about main and main street
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
