The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize