I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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