so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Someone came in the potted fern
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
