i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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