Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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