I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
