btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
