I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
