Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize