Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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