There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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