ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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