we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
