Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize