I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
