I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
