So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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