Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
