Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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