Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he puts the penis in happiness.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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