she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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