we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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