I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you would pick up someone in the library
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
