Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
