I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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