that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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