I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
