the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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