How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
A bitchslap is in order.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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