maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's the barista slut.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
