Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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