Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
