I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
