Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
