Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
