fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
