I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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