Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm going to jail i love you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
