what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I could fuck to npr.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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