miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
