so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
birth control should be required to get into college
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
