yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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