I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
