do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
