this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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