So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
