so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
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I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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