I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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