Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
