had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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