just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
two words: eviction party
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
