her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
