Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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