Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize