no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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