You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She is in my trunk
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
