Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
