Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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