I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
