and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i dont even know how to be here
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
