You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
