summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
