my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
