He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
