i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I pour the whiskey from now on
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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